Disconnection, Evil and Fear
Today I visited the Oklahoma City National Memorial. I also dealt with a house closing and leaseback deal that became very contentious and weird. What do the two have in common? Lots.
I'm not suggesting that an asshole real estate broker and narcissistic landlord can do the level of damage that Tim McVeigh wreaked on OKC but I am suggesting that on a general level the origins of the behaviors are similar...just on a different scale.
The more readings that I do and the more time that I spend on this planet the more I believe less and less in the concept of evil. I know many people may find that controversial and I agree that some humans have had a truly abhorrent impact on their fellow man as compared to others in human history. I just believe that the origin of most of the pain in this world is caused by not the presence of evil but the lack of human connection. Evil is what we call the void that is caused by the absence of love. One of my clients came to me in pain because one of her dear friends was murdered randomly by a sociopathic killer. She asked me why he did it- a common question that anyone would have in the wake of senseless violence. When I linked into this individuals' energy I was surprised. I was expecting a dark, angry, "evil" presence- I was actually nervous to even attempt it. To my amazement I felt nothing. Or rather he felt nothing. It was a numbness and a feeling of disconnection that I had not experienced before. This "numbness" is how the holocaust happened. It's how a killer on the news last week could smile and smirk as the father of the young girl he killed expressed his grief and anger over his loss.
So what does that have to do with a house closing and a landlord? I couldn't understand why I felt so afraid and angry during a simple closing and negotiation of a lease. I am a rational business person. I understand that contracts and compromises must be made between people to create fairness, clarity and to avoid conflict in the future. It occurred to me that the reason I was having such bad vibes about these people was their lack of acknowledgement of me as a person. I didn't expect them to like me, get to know me, or give me any concessions, just acknowledge through their language and actions that I am a person. Just a little kindness and expression of compassion would have made the entire experience different, even if the outcome of the transaction was the same. What a wonderful reminder for us all. The most important part of being alive is connection. When we put something else besides people first we are missing the point. We can all still conduct business, correct mistakes, get to our destination and get our needs met while still connecting to and respecting others. In fact, we may get more of everything that we want if we add the ingredient of connection to the hectic mix of our lives everyday.